Being married to your best friend can lead to happier marriages and greater life satisfaction. It can also be a burden. So says a recent article. Here are some interesting excerpts:

• About half of married people and couples living together say their partner is their best friend, with men more likely to say so than women. Forty-eight percent of married women listed their spouse as their BF compared with 64% of men in a 2017 study. 

• Couples who are best friends say they work on it. They listen, share feelings, thoughts, affection and laughter, and explore new things together. But relying on one person to be your “everything”—partner, cheerleader, lover, counselor and playmate—can be too much, even for spousal superheroes.

• It’s useful to have a different confidant to listen and give objective advice when you are worried about things at home. Likewise, you can be deeply in love and have a healthy relationship, and still want to go shopping, to a baseball game, or out for a beer with a best friend from work or high school.

• Millennial couples often feel pressure to have their partner as their best friend, says Liz Higgins, founder of Millennial Life Counseling and herself a millennial married to her best friend. Some in their late 20s and early 30s saw their own parents’ divorce or remain in unhappy marriages. They want to avoid that—and think having a best-friend partner will help. If that’s the goal, she says, they need to focus on what it means to be a best friend and work on that with their partner. 

• One key is remaining curious and exploring new things together. 

• “You hit a dead end when you think you know everything there is about your partner.”

• It is also important to realize that marriage is a journey, and there are times you feel like your partner is your best friend and times you don’t, she says. That doesn’t mean you’re with the wrong person. 

• John Helliwell, a Canadian economist who researches happiness and co-wrote the 2017 study on marriage and friendship, says being best friends with your spouse increases some of the well-being benefits that come with marriage, such as life satisfaction. 

                  “Spouses and Best Friends.” Wall Street Journal (Sept. 18, 2023)