This is a good article on infidelity. It’s conclusion, surprisingly, is that infidelity by either partner or both, is not necessarily the end of the road. Here’s some thoughts from this New York Times piece from earlier this month …………
“The good news is, depending upon what caused one partner to wander and how determined a couple is to remain together, infidelity need not result in divorce …. But short of irreversible incompatibility or physical or emotional abuse, with professional counseling and a mutual willingness to preserve the marriage, therapists maintain that couples stand a good chance of overcoming the trauma of infidelity and avoiding what is often the more painful trauma of divorce.”
“The Hard Road Back From Infidelity.” New York Times (Jan. 28, 2018 )
Served 8 years as a gubernatorial appointee on the Board of the Virginia Board of Counseling. This is the licensing and regulatory agency of the Commonwealth of Virginia for licensed professional counselors. A great experience. But now glad to avoid the traffic on I95.
Political differences can easily strain family and couple relationships. Any differences between people can trigger desires to convince the other to ‘see it my way!’ Convincing, however, is less effective, and more likely to create relationship rifts, than simply sharing perspectives.Some people have more ability to allow others to be different. This ability takes patience. It takes willingness to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. This ability also rests on ability to keep your emotions in the calm zone. My best advice is to channel discussions into other directions. It’s more important to keep a good relationship than win an argument.
“Politics and Relationships.” Psychology Today (2016).
Good recent article on stress and relationships. Although partners in close social relationships often enable one another to manage stress, stress can also undermine the many benefits that these relationships provide. Couple-targeted and stress-targeted interventions both hold promise for empowering couples to sustain their relationship. Good counseling can help reach good results.
A good piece in a recent issue of the Financial Times (FT Wealth) discusses different political views on dating and relationships during the Trump era. Here are some quotes:
The politics itself is not to blame, but for some couples it has highlighted a lack of shared values and this has in turn placed tension on their relationship.
Politics is one of the most important criteria used on dating site profiles and in the algorithms such services use.
They’re looking to find reasons to not go on a date with people and politics is a biggie these days, bigger than before the Trump election for sure.
Opposites do not attract — it’s the commonalities of thinking, values, outlook and intellectual curiosity that make relationships sustainable long term.
They relate to the broader value system of the individual, which is a crucial area in the matchmaking process.
From my recent experience in counseling sessions politics has come to the forefront. It’s not clear how political differences will play out during this new political era. But good communications about differences are always important.
“A Match Made in Politics.” Financial Times (June 23, 2017)