Dating in the Trump Era — Do Political Differencies Matter?

A good piece in a recent issue of the Financial Times  (FT Wealth) discusses different political views on dating and relationships during the Trump era. Here are some quotes:

 

The politics itself is not to blame, but for some couples it has highlighted a lack of shared values and this has in turn placed tension on their relationship.

Politics is one of the most important criteria used on dating site profiles and in the algorithms such services use.

They’re looking to find reasons to not go on a date with people and politics is a biggie these days, bigger than before the Trump election for sure.

Opposites do not attract — it’s the commonalities of thinking, values, outlook and intellectual curiosity that make relationships sustainable long term.

 They relate to the broader value system of the individual, which is a crucial area in the matchmaking process.

 

From my recent experience in counseling sessions politics has come to the forefront. It’s not clear how political differences will play out during this new political era. But good communications about differences are always important.

A Match Made in Politics.” Financial Times (June 23, 2017)

The New Anxiety — From Psychological to Sociological.

Really good point in this new New York Times article — anxiety is not only a psychological disorder but now a sociological one.

Anxiety can be viewed on various levels — on the individual level, the national level and the international one. Individual therapy needs to address these different levels of anxiety.

Here’s a good quote from the New York Times piece ………….

“While to epidemiologists both disorders are medical conditions, anxiety is starting to seem like a sociological condition, too: a shared cultural experience that feeds on alarmist CNN graphics and metastasizes through social media.”

 

………. “An Anxious Nation.” New York Times (June 11, 2017)

Sex and Stress — What to Do?

Couple (Angry)

     Good comments in a recent article published earlier this year about sex and stress and what to do about it ……………

Stress can also impact your sex life. The hormones produced when an individual is stressed can impact metabolism, which can in turn lead to weight fluctuations, When you experience changes in your body, or don’t feel good about your body, you might be less likely to want to engage in sexual activity.

Chronic stress may lead to depression and anxiety, and both conditions can get in the way of a healthy sex life. Some people who feel stressed complain that they aren’t in the mood to have sex at all.

Luckily, you can do something about this issue. Having a healthy outlet for your stress, like exercise, getting a massage, and even taking a bath can help, Make time for self-care. And, while some stress is normal, if you can pinpoint big stressors in your life, it’s a good idea to do what you can to minimize them or eliminate them altogether, if possible.

     What can you do about stress? The above observations seem very basic. But too many individuals just ignore them. The simple answer is ‘Reduce stress and you will have many benefits.’ My suggestion ‘Just start’ to reduce and manage stress as much as possible. That’s the hardest part.

 

………….”Sex and Stress.” (2017).

Embracing Change in Marriages.

     Good piece in the New York Times this Sunday that relationships change within marriage. People change. Sometimes both, sometimes only one. That to stay married both parties need to embrace the changed situations. I would add that sometimes individuals really don’t change that much and good marriages involves those relationships also.

 

To Stay Married, Embrace Change.” New York Times (April 23, 2017).

Kinder Group Intervention ……….

This is a good article on family intervention when issues arise concerning well being of a  family member that may involve depression, addiction, health or a host of other concerns. This article favors a ‘softer’ approach rather than a more aggressive intervention. I strongly support that view. Mental health professionals can be of great assistance in this process.

Gentler Group Intervention.” Wall Street Journal (April 11, 2017)

Are Women Really in Control When Using ‘Bumble’?

The newer dating app Bumble has a different twist. It allows women control of dating choices. Interestingly, once women actually go out on a date many often fallback on traditional dating norms. For example, expectations that the man pays for dinners. For women to have true control they need to take a more active and equitable role.

Bumble and Women in Control.” New York Times (March 19, 2017)

My website: http://www.VirginiaCounselling.com/

Loneliness in Relationships.

               Couples (Bad in Bed)

“Loneliness is the feeling we get in our heart and soul when we want to be connected with someone, and someone is not available to connect with. This can certainly occur when we are alone, but it also occurs in relationships when one or both partners are unavailable for connection — due to being angry, withdrawn, tired or ill.” This statement is from the Huffington Post at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-paul-phd/relationship-advice_b_1931687.html . We can help with a couple’s lost connection. and can improve communications and intimacy. This is extremely important for the mental health of couples and their well being.