“As coping strategies go, cut-offs leave a lot to be desired. Quite literally. They don’t solve problems. There’s no growth. And, leaving open wounds, they are always painful to at least one party and usually to all.

Yet, they are increasingly accepted by a younger generation as a way of handling what seems to be a broadening array of dissatisfactions. Well beyond abuse and direct harm, young adults cite unmet emotional needs, violated boundaries, lack of emotional support, and more.

What if the emotional distress, sense of disconnection, lack of support, feelings of emptiness, and difficulties forming a coherent sense of self that young people are experiencing are all very real—but often have their true origins outside the home?

“There’s an expectation of being exceptional if you just do the right thing. And young people feel the burden of explaining why that isn’t happening. College students (say) that being normal is a failure: ‘I should be extraordinary.’ That feeling of Why aren’t I more than I am? contributes to a sense of injury and of thinking, 

The thinning out of adult social life as putting another burden on young people that they should not have to assume. Whatever the forces of alienation, estrangement is rarely a remedy.” 

“How to Heal a Family Split.” Psychology Today (November 2025).