Recent article discusses why couples have different versions of events and how they lead to arguments and what to do to overcome differing perceptions. Needless to say better communication could avoid this but certainly can overcome it. Several good rules.
- Assume good intent. Most likely, your partner is not lying when his or her story differs from yours. Your memories of the event are simply different.
- Accept that there is not one version of events. Both stories may have some validity.
- Do not argue based on memories. Let go of ‘you did this,’ ‘no I didn’t.’
- Focus on the truth of how the event made you feel, not your memory of what happened.
- Practice collaborative memory. Recall joyful events—the birth of a child, a favorite vacation, the day you got the keys to your home.
“Honey, You Never Said …” Wall Street Journal (March 24, 2015).