Couples Change — Often Hard to Adjust — But Often Possible.


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 There’s a good article in today’s New York Times discussing how all couples change. Here are a few of its observations that I believe are very helpful — especially during the current pandemic.

  • We don’t marry one person as much as we marry one version of a person, a snapshot of who we (and our partner) are individually and to one another at the moment when we say “I do.” Who we are five, 10 or 40 years later is anybody’s guess.
  • People change. As a result, relationships change, too.
  • Not only do relationships change with time, but people change, which can affect the relationship dynamics as well.
  • Personalities are more malleable than we may think. Most of us change, though often gradually.
  • But the pandemic and the disruption it brought have resulted in a period of far more rapid, intense and often negative change for many people the world over.
  • Communication has and will always be the key to mitigate negative feelings around change in your relationship,
  • Sometimes change is precisely what the love doctor ordered in order for two people to realize they are right for one another.
  • Accepting changes that you can live with not only leads to more self-fulfillment but can also lead to a stronger relationship. Change brings back some of that ‘newness’ and can add new passion and interest to the relationship. 

          “Watching a Partner Change is Hard.” New York Times (January 10, 2022).