How to increase sexual interest in relationships?

The answer is really simple. Be nice and genuinely interested in your partner. That means to listen. Pay attention to details and to be responsive to their needs.

Increase intimacy out of the bedroom increases desire in the bedroom.

“How to Rekindle Sexual Desire — Be Nice.” Wall Street Journal (Oct. 18, 2016).

     It is becoming clearer that changes in the economy have dramatically added to the withdrawal of some men and women from the labor force. These changes have contributed to more painkiller dependency, divorce, and great deal more of anger. The following are two quotes from a recent lead editorial in the New York Times (Oct. 17, 2016).

• The connection between chronic joblessness and painkiller dependency is hard to quantify …. Some experts suspect that frequent use of painkillers is a result of being out of work, because people who have no job prospects are more likely to be depressed, become addicted to drugs and alcohol and have other mental health problems.
• While it’s hard to generalize across a large group of people, it’s clear that job market changes can have significant health effects on the labor force. … [S]oaring levels of prescription opioid addiction in the general population … [add to these effects].

     My observation is that as joblessness increases so does the need for mental health counseling. This is critically necessary in order to avoid other health problems such as addition and depression.

“The Men Missing from the Job Market.” New York Times (Editorial) (10.17.16)

  University mental-health centers are being flooded by students that address a broad range of issues including anxiety and sexual assaults. Universities have a significant responsibility to address these issues.

     Unfortunately, limited resources have restricted their ability to provide effective and in-depth therapy when needed. However, it’s better late and too little than not at all. But these efforts need now to be dramatically expanded beyond short-term counseling. The times have changed and so do efforts to address these issues.

     One recommendation is for universities to expand and to work with community resources outside of the university. Specifically, to refer students to therapists who specialize in these areas who already have significant experience. This would be an effective and more efficient way to overcome stretched resources and provide longer-term treatment.

• “College Mental-Health Centers — Students Flooding In.” Wall Street Journal (Oct. 11, 2016).

• “Women’s First Assaults  — Hundreds Respond on Twitter.” New York Times (Oct. 11, 2016).

     Good article about the thinking of a marriage therapist who has practiced over 40 years. Some observations by him:

• He emphasizes what each person contributes to the marriage;

• Takes time to determine if a marriage will last;

• Big mistake to gang up on someone;

• I do give “homework” especially to increase intimacy;

• I can tell if therapy is working if they are making progress in their relationship. Then I ask them.

• Two or three chronic problems don’t ever go away.  Learn to live with them.

     Sounds like good conclusions after forty years.Seems very basic. But they are also true.

… “What a Marriage Therapist Really Thinks? Wall Street Journal (April 5, 2016).