Monthly Archives: March 2024

ADHD AND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS — PRIMER FOR PARTNERS.

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This is a summary of an article that recently appeared on MSN (March 21, 2024). It’s really clear and concise about dealing with ADHD in a personal relationship.

You have a partner with ADHD and are excited to make plans. You enjoy spending time together and talking for hours. But, sometimes, things irk you in your relationship. You know your partner wants to see you, but you don’t understand why your partner is always running late.

Your partner cares, but you don’t understand why they forget your birthday. You know your partner wants to discuss things that bother you, but you don’t understand why you have so many communication problems with your ADHD partner.

Usually, partners with ADHD are described as friendly, very busy doing many things at one time, and sometimes appear moody. They may also communicate in ways that cause problems in their relationships without being aware they are doing so.

Four Characteristic:

  1. Hyper-focusing on their partner at the beginning of the relationship.

Partners with ADHD may hyper focus on their partners. At the beginning of your relationship, hyper-focusing keeps partners engaged and motivated to see each other. You might like your partner’s attention and the ability to make you feel special.

As the relationship progresses, since the partner with ADHD has difficulty regulating their attention and is drawn to novel and new experiences, their attention on the relationship might wane.

  1. High sensitivity to criticism.

Partners with ADHD are very sensitive to criticism for forgetting things, losing their keys, being late for appointments, and not picking up items at the store. They may blame their partner for many of the issues in the relationships, such as losing a job due to issues of procrastination, not following through or meeting deadlines, not carrying their weight in the relationship, or the relationship not being fair and balanced.

The partner with ADHD frequently holds a lot of shame around their mistakes and challenges in their life and relationship. This problem also leaves them feeling and viewing themselves as defective, less than, or not good enough.

  1. Forgetfulness, interruptions, and jumping topic-to-topic during conversations.

When partners with ADHD can’t remember what they were going to say, impulsively interrupt, jump from topic to topic, the other partner can feel frustrated and irritated by these behaviors.

A partner with ADHD may have a tendency to interrupt, impulsively answer, and not wait for their turn to respond. They may have difficulty following the thread of the conversation, especially in a crowded room or with distractions, such as cell phones.

  1. Distraction.

If you are trying to talk and a partner with ADHD keeps looking away or has difficulty following the conversation, sometimes the other partner will feel rejected, abandoned, or unloved by these behaviors.

Conclusion — ADHD does not have to negatively impact your relationship, but you will need to understand the challenges and issues to be able to address them. All couples have communication problems, but when you have a partner with ADHD, you need to learn more effective methods of solving your communication problems.

“Common Problems Dealing with ADHD in Relationships.” MSN (Online) (3.21.24)

What are the Difference Between Family Therapy, Family Counseling and Couples Counseling?

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     A good article recently appeared discussing the difference between ‘family therapy’ and ‘family counseling.’ Slight differences, it’s an interesting discussion. Here are some excerpts.

  • Family counseling is a discipline of therapy focused on finding solutions for the challenges and complexities that may arise in family life. Also called marriage and family therapy (MFT), clinicians work to improve communication among family members and adjust the dynamics between members of the family that may result in dysfunction. The terms “family counseling” and “family therapy” are often used synonymously, but it is important to note that family counseling, like other forms of counseling, may be defined by some clinicians as shorter in duration and more solutions-focused than family therapy.
  • Family counseling has evolved and developed over the decades and now incorporates practices and methods from several schools of thought.
  • Structural Family Therapy: This method examines the rules and power dynamics of the family. In structural family therapy, the therapist may be more involved than other types of treatment and help to reorganize the structures of the family to improve how people feel in the family and create a more cohesive unit.
  • Cognitive Behavioral :Couples Therapy: Applying the same principles as cognitive behavioral therapy, this modality encourages couples to identify and name the patterns of behavior causing them or their partner distress in the relationship, with the clinician teaching skills to help confront and change these patterns.
  • Couples and Marriage Counseling: This approach focuses on relationship problems. Therapists typically meet with both partners at the same time to identify the challenges they face and disagreements they may have and help the couple find better solutions for how to communicate, find mutually acceptable solutions, and work as a team.
  • A licensed marriage and family therapist (MFT or LMFT) is a mental health practitioner with a master’s or doctoral degree. MFTs typically train under a supervisor for two years, or 3,000 clinical hours, and must pass an exam to receive licensure.
  • When seeking a family counselor, it’s important to choose someone with whom you and your family members trust and feel comfortable talking about what can be difficult topics. Studies have shown that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist is one of the most important factors for a successful outcome.
  • Family therapy has expanded in popularity significantly in recent years. One study found that as many as 70 percent of psychotherapists now offer treatment to couples or families.
  • Whatever the makeup of the family unit, learning and practicing the skills of respectful communication, mutual understanding, and harmonious conflict resolution have made a difference in the lives of many families across the world.

                                       “Family Counseling.” (2023).