Monthly Archives: July 2024

Social Anxiety & Successful Strategies to Overcome It.

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Social anxiety at times can be viewed as a disorder. However, there are, in fact, some simple strategies to overcome this. They have often proven to be very effective. The following is from a recent article in the Washington Post …………

 

“Social anxiety disorder involves substantial anxiety in social or performance situations and is accompanied by a strong fear of being rejected as well as appearing or acting in a way that leads to embarrassment and humiliation. When social anxiety significantly interferes with an individual’s work, establishing or maintaining relationships, leisure or other functioning (for example, using public transportation, traveling, playing sports), we diagnose it as a disorder …. Social anxiety also has been linked to setting unrealistic social goals and having perfectionistic standards for interactions — each social encounter serving as additional “proof” of one’s inadequacy. Furthermore, socially anxious individuals overestimate any negative consequences of social encounters, often ruminating and obsessing over what they shouldn’t or should have said or done for hours or even days. When you feel so bad about yourself, you are more likely to construct your life around preventing further rejection, thus perpetuating social anxiety …. To increase positive emotions and a sense of meaning in life, people with social anxiety could practice mindful meditation and learn to avoid labeling feelings as negative or positive, opening themselves up to all internal experiences …. Other helpful strategies include reducing alcohol or similar substances used to numb emotions; tracking and sharing what they are grateful for; and clarifying what matters the most to them.” “Social Anxiety and Strategies How to Overcome Them.” Washington Post (July 30, 2024).

 

Why More Intimacy During the Summer and Some Strategies.

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A fun piece appeared recently in the Wall Street Journal discussing why people feel sexier during the summer. It discusses why there is more interest in intimacy and some successful strategies to ensure happiness. Here’s an excerpt:

 

“Ever feel as if sex is everywhere in the summer? We’re wearing skimpier clothes, drinking stronger cocktails, getting some sun and delighting in a seductive breeze on our shoulders. And everywhere we look there seems to be an advertisement featuring beers, beaches and bikinis …. No wonder there’s a spike in interest in sexual activity in the summer, seen in everything from condom sales to online searches related to pornography and dating, research shows …. People reported having sex an average 5.6 times a month, or just more than once a week, according to a soon-to-be-published, nationally representative study of 1,500 Americans ages 18 to 88 from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Yet there is a great deal of variation among individuals: About a third of people surveyed said they don’t have sex in a typical month; 30% said they have sex between one and four times; and 29% said they have sex between five and 16 times. The final 8% reported having sex more than 17 times a month …. Doom scrolling isn’t sexy, especially these days. It keeps your nervous system in a constant state of fight or flight …. Find something sensual to watch or listen to instead, such as your favorite turn-me-on music, a podcast about sex or an erotic audiobook. You can do this regularly throughout the day, while you’re taking a walk or making dinner. “You’re priming yourself to feel sexy” …. And, for heaven’s sake, put away your phone when you’re in the bedroom. Give your partner your full attention …. When you feel good, you’re more likely to get in the mood. Dress up, as you would for a date. Bare a little skin. The feel of a summer breeze on your shoulder can be an erotic trigger …. Research shows that novelty activates the brain’s reward system, flooding it with neurochemicals related to pleasure and bonding. And our enthusiasm about the activity often transfers to the person we’re doing it with. Strong emotions can amplify sexual arousal …. It makes you feel good. And it helps our bodies produce vitamin D, which might help sexual relations. Low vitamin D may cause lower testosterone levels in men and lower sexual desire and satisfaction in women.” “Summer Lovin Feeling.” Wall Street Journal (July 30, 2024)

Couples Therapy — Choosing a Therapist.

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A good piece appeared recently on how to choose a therapist for couples seeking assistance concerning a broad range of issues such as intimacy, infidelity, divorce, family issues and general relationship concerns. Here is an excerpt discussing licensing of therapists, fees and insurance, among other items …………..

 

“Most couples therapy is conducted conjointly—that is, with both partners present in sessions. Seeing or contacting one member of the couple separately is occasionally warranted but almost invariably done to gain information important to the relationship and with the permission of the other. Sometimes an individual seeks couples counseling as a way to prompt a change in a troubled relationship, most commonly because their partner is unwilling to participate in therapy …. Specific variations of couples therapy have been developed to focus on such relationship problems as infidelity and sexual difficulties …. Couples’ therapists are licensed mental health professionals—holding a master’s in counseling, social work, or marriage and family therapy. They are not only well-trained in an array of psychotherapeutic modalities but have specific academic education in relationship science and family systems and supervised clinical training in interpersonal dynamics. Some therapists seek training and certification by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) …. Couples therapy, like individual therapy, can cost between $150 and $400 per one-hour session, usually conducted weekly by a private practitioner …. Unfortunately, couples therapy is not usually covered by insurance because it is rarely deemed medically necessary. There are, however, ways to get quality therapy at affordable rates …. Couples’ therapists, whatever their fee structure, are quick to state that couples therapy is almost always worth the cost. It is, they point out, much cheaper than a divorce.” “Couples Therapy.” Psychology Today (2023).