New Mothers and Hospitals — Mother’s Choice, No Bullying.

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Mother and Chikd

I found the article ‘Baby Friendly Hospitals…” in the Washington Post on September 11th true and interesting.  As a psychotherapist I see the importance of building confidence in new mothers and helping them have respected choices.  Hospitals such as VHC and Fairfax Hospital may have good intentions in their zealous approaches but their staff, especially their lactation specialists, needs to learn how not to bully and create undo pressure for new moms.  They need to stop creating guilt and let new moms make a choice and have a voice.

“Baby-Friendly Policies” Washington Post (Sept. 11, 2014).

 

Sandy Malawer is the Director of the Family Therapy Center of McLean and counsels new and expecting parents.

Cooperation and Parenting for the Divorced Couples.

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Couple (Angry)

 ‘Cooperation’  should be the primary method for divorced couples in confronting and managing child issues. ‘Cooperative parenting’ including ‘cooperative law’ (mediation and arbitration procedures) helps negate the conflict in parenting relationships that can go on through issues of grandchildren.

 

 

“How Divorced Parents Lost Their Rights.” New York Times (Sept. 7, 2014)

Scandal and Survival of Marriage — What about Governor McDonnell?

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    Couple (Angry)

 

      Yes, a marriage can survive scandal. The defense strategy in the former Virginia governor’s marriage was quickly seen right through by the jury. If this was just a legal strategy and not reality the couple might survive. But there are still many unknowns in this unfortunate situation.

 

“A Marriage on Trial.” Washington Post (Sept. 6, 2014).

Depression and an Understanding Friend — Just Listen.

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Talk Less (WSJ 8.26.14)

 
     Depression is an interpersonal minefield. One of the best things a friend can do is just listen, not talk. This particularly good advice when also confronting the depression in a spouse. Couples therapy can help with this but an understanding spouse is essential.
“To Be a Friend in a Time of Need, Talk Less, Listen More.” Wall Street Journal (8.26.14).

Couples Counseling and Confidentiality — It’s Essential and It’s the Law.

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Love.Beach

 

     Good article about the imploding of the Virginia Governor’s marriage. Three lessons, among others, make time for the marriage, family experiences keep happening, and couples counseling is critical. Unfortunately, they didn’t have it.  They feared lack of confidentiality. Confidentiality in marriage counseling is essential. All good counselors and therapists provide confidentiality. It’s required by the law and by professional standards.
“Love, Marriage and Disaster.” Washington Post (August 26, 2014).

Couples and Compromises — Rules and Realities — Need for Adjustments.

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Couple and Fire (NYT 8.25.14)

 

Good article. This article concludes with stating that the key to a long-lasting relationship is realistic compromise by couples between the rules we make and changing reality. In other words a marriage lasts when there when there is a more-mature self-realization.

 

‘We Pledge Allegiance ….” New York Times (August 24, 2014).

Baby Boomers — Suicide, Depression, and Couples Communication — Good Communications Always Necessary.

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     Aging Baby Boomers

 

         It’s clear that suicide risk is on the increase for baby boomers facing a career or a personal setback, illness, or leaving the workforce. What can be done? One strange fact that emerged concerning Robin Williams is that his wife left for work without checking in on him or saying goodbye. He was already dead. Does this indicate a breakdown in marital communications? I don’t know. One thing I do know is that good marital communications are essential for couples to confront problems and newer situations as they go through all stages of life. But this is even more necessary as they begin to retire, become ill, and begin to confront new challenges.

 

“Suicide Risk on the Rise for William’s Age Group.” Wall Street Journal (August 13, 2014)

Husbands and Couples Counseling — How to Start.

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Counseling and Husbands (WSJ 8.12.14)

Often husbands don’t want to start couples counseling. Newer approach is to start with one or two sessions with just the husband. Not a bad idea. Still need to get him to start. No easy task. But a very worthwhile undertaking. Eventually, hopefully, increasing better communications.

 

“Husbands and Counseling.” Wall Street Journal (August 12, 2014).

10 Minute Naps and Real Vacations — Biologically Restorative.

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     Npas (NYT 8.10.14)
     New research shows the importance of real vacations and short naps (even 10 minutes). They are both biologically restorative. They improve cognitive vigor and decrease sleepiness and fatigue. You are then better to start solving some problems.

 

“Hit the Reset Button in Your Brain.” New York Times (August 10, 2014).

Self-Absorbtion and Maturity — Does Maturity Mean Seeing the Broader Landscape?

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Introspection

     Does keeping a journal contribute to self-absorption and narcissism? This article argues that maturity is moving from the close-up to seeing the broader landscape. Focusing less on your weaknesses and more on the broad context. We should not over-analyze information. Ruminators end up making themselves more depressed. Citing newer studies this is a good article for everyone. Look at the mountains not the weeds.

 

….. “Introspective or Narcissistic.?” New York Times (August 8, 2014).