This is a summary of an article that recently appeared on MSN (March 21, 2024). It’s really clear and concise about dealing with ADHD in a personal relationship.

You have a partner with ADHD and are excited to make plans. You enjoy spending time together and talking for hours. But, sometimes, things irk you in your relationship. You know your partner wants to see you, but you don’t understand why your partner is always running late.

Your partner cares, but you don’t understand why they forget your birthday. You know your partner wants to discuss things that bother you, but you don’t understand why you have so many communication problems with your ADHD partner.

Usually, partners with ADHD are described as friendly, very busy doing many things at one time, and sometimes appear moody. They may also communicate in ways that cause problems in their relationships without being aware they are doing so.

Four Characteristic:

1. Hyper-focusing on their partner at the beginning of the relationship.

Partners with ADHD may hyper focus on their partners. At the beginning of your relationship, hyper-focusing keeps partners engaged and motivated to see each other. You might like your partner’s attention and the ability to make you feel special.

As the relationship progresses, since the partner with ADHD has difficulty regulating their attention and is drawn to novel and new experiences, their attention on the relationship might wane.

1. High sensitivity to criticism.

Partners with ADHD are very sensitive to criticism for forgetting things, losing their keys, being late for appointments, and not picking up items at the store. They may blame their partner for many of the issues in the relationships, such as losing a job due to issues of procrastination, not following through or meeting deadlines, not carrying their weight in the relationship, or the relationship not being fair and balanced.

The partner with ADHD frequently holds a lot of shame around their mistakes and challenges in their life and relationship. This problem also leaves them feeling and viewing themselves as defective, less than, or not good enough.

1. Forgetfulness, interruptions, and jumping topic-to-topic during conversations.

When partners with ADHD can’t remember what they were going to say, impulsively interrupt, jump from topic to topic, the other partner can feel frustrated and irritated by these behaviors.

A partner with ADHD may have a tendency to interrupt, impulsively answer, and not wait for their turn to respond. They may have difficulty following the thread of the conversation, especially in a crowded room or with distractions, such as cell phones.

1. Distraction.

If you are trying to talk and a partner with ADHD keeps looking away or has difficulty following the conversation, sometimes the other partner will feel rejected, abandoned, or unloved by these behaviors.

Conclusion — ADHD does not have to negatively impact your relationship, but you will need to understand the challenges and issues to be able to address them. All couples have communication problems, but when you have a partner with ADHD, you need to learn more effective methods of solving your communication problems.

“Common Problems Dealing with ADHD in Relationships.” MSN (Online) (3.21.24)