Tag Archives: mental-health

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY — Sandy Malawer, LPC, LMFT — Family Therapy Center of McLean (Since 1986).

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703.893.9063. 703.346.7065 (cell).  SandyMalawer@msn.com
https://www.virginiacounselling.com/
 
THE FAMILY THERAPY CENTER specializes in all aspects of individual,  couples and marriage counseling. In particular, we focus on fostering better communications, cross-cultural counseling, and on a “relationship-focused therapy.” We view counseling as a way to assist clients in defining their critical concerns, identifying their strengths, and achieving their goals. Solutions are developed by formulating specific actions — coaching you to achieve your true potential. Counseling is a positive action that empowers people. Allowing clients to gain control of their lives.
 
We specialize in all aspects of individual, marriage and family counseling including military and intelligence families, premarital, couples and individual counseling that often involves cross-cultural issues and developing better communication skills. Counseling is in a comfortable and confidential setting. Often individual counseling can lead to couples and family counseling.      
 
The Family Therapy Center was established in 1986 in McLean, Virginia, as the Professional Counseling Center of McLean. The Center is located in central Mclean, Virginia, at 1313 Vincent Place, McLean, Virginia 22101. PHONE COUNSELING and ONLINE (Zoom) available. 703.893.9063. 703.346.7065 (cell).  SandyMalawer@Counseling-Connection.net
 
S                                          1313 Vincent Place, McLean, Virginia                                                            .

New Technology and Mental Health Treatment — Some Early Promise.

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“There is an emerging frontier of mental health treatments using new technologies that are offering promising early results and possibilities. Motivated in part by the limitations of existing treatments — mostly involving drugs or talk therapy with a psychologist — many researchers are looking to develop digital tools to treat mental health …. Technology treatment may be in its infancy and will need to undergo rigorous and much bigger testing. But it illustrates how the next generation of therapies has the potential to be far more accessible and straight forward than before — with implications for the many people seeking help for mental health. You don’t need medication for that, you don’t need a psychologist to talk about your life  …. It’s so simple — just sitting in front of a computer.” ”Tech-Powered Treatments.” Financial Times (December 18, 2024).




Social Anxiety & Successful Strategies to Overcome It.

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Social anxiety at times can be viewed as a disorder. However, there are, in fact, some simple strategies to overcome this. They have often proven to be very effective. The following is from a recent article in the Washington Post …………

 

“Social anxiety disorder involves substantial anxiety in social or performance situations and is accompanied by a strong fear of being rejected as well as appearing or acting in a way that leads to embarrassment and humiliation. When social anxiety significantly interferes with an individual’s work, establishing or maintaining relationships, leisure or other functioning (for example, using public transportation, traveling, playing sports), we diagnose it as a disorder …. Social anxiety also has been linked to setting unrealistic social goals and having perfectionistic standards for interactions — each social encounter serving as additional “proof” of one’s inadequacy. Furthermore, socially anxious individuals overestimate any negative consequences of social encounters, often ruminating and obsessing over what they shouldn’t or should have said or done for hours or even days. When you feel so bad about yourself, you are more likely to construct your life around preventing further rejection, thus perpetuating social anxiety …. To increase positive emotions and a sense of meaning in life, people with social anxiety could practice mindful meditation and learn to avoid labeling feelings as negative or positive, opening themselves up to all internal experiences …. Other helpful strategies include reducing alcohol or similar substances used to numb emotions; tracking and sharing what they are grateful for; and clarifying what matters the most to them.” “Social Anxiety and Strategies How to Overcome Them.” Washington Post (July 30, 2024).

 

Couples Therapy — Choosing a Therapist.

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A good piece appeared recently on how to choose a therapist for couples seeking assistance concerning a broad range of issues such as intimacy, infidelity, divorce, family issues and general relationship concerns. Here is an excerpt discussing licensing of therapists, fees and insurance, among other items …………..

 

“Most couples therapy is conducted conjointly—that is, with both partners present in sessions. Seeing or contacting one member of the couple separately is occasionally warranted but almost invariably done to gain information important to the relationship and with the permission of the other. Sometimes an individual seeks couples counseling as a way to prompt a change in a troubled relationship, most commonly because their partner is unwilling to participate in therapy …. Specific variations of couples therapy have been developed to focus on such relationship problems as infidelity and sexual difficulties …. Couples’ therapists are licensed mental health professionals—holding a master’s in counseling, social work, or marriage and family therapy. They are not only well-trained in an array of psychotherapeutic modalities but have specific academic education in relationship science and family systems and supervised clinical training in interpersonal dynamics. Some therapists seek training and certification by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) …. Couples therapy, like individual therapy, can cost between $150 and $400 per one-hour session, usually conducted weekly by a private practitioner …. Unfortunately, couples therapy is not usually covered by insurance because it is rarely deemed medically necessary. There are, however, ways to get quality therapy at affordable rates …. Couples’ therapists, whatever their fee structure, are quick to state that couples therapy is almost always worth the cost. It is, they point out, much cheaper than a divorce.” “Couples Therapy.” Psychology Today (2023).

LONELINESS & STRATEGIES TO AOID IT — NEW FRIENDS.

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     It is well known that chronic loneliness has become a public health crisis in the United States. A recent article in the New York Times offers some strategies to combat this. One suggestion for individuals is to make new friends — especially ones with similar interests. Another one, my opinion, to develop an even closer relationship if you’re a couple. Here are a few excerpts from this recent article ……….

 

 

  • Everyone feels lonely from time to time — after, say, a move to a new school or city, when a child leaves for college, or following the loss of a spouse.
  • Some people, though, experience loneliness not just transiently but chronically. It becomes a personality trait, something that’s pretty sticky.
  • Research is mounting that entrenched loneliness is bad for our health …. chronic loneliness affects the brain, and some strategies to address it.
  • Small, transient episodes of loneliness really motivate people to then seek out social connection.  But in chronic episodes of loneliness, that seems to kind of backfire because people become especially attuned to social threats, which can then make it scary or unpleasant for them to interact with others.
  • For years, scientists have known about a connection between loneliness and Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia.
  • The more general way in which loneliness affects mental and physical health may also factor into cognitive decline. The feeling is closely linked to depression, another condition that increases the risk for dementia. And people who are lonely are less likely to be physically active and more likely to smoke cigarettes.
  • One of the most common recommendations is a little obvious: Try to make new friends (and it’s easiest with persons of shared identities). Whether that’s through art classes, sports teams, support groups or volunteer opportunities, the goal is to put yourself in places where people come together.
  • The strategies may sound simple, but they’re easier said than done. Otherwise, I don’t think we would have the report from the Surgeon General saying we need to figure this out.           

            “Loneliness Shapes Our Behaviors.” New York Times (May 10, 2024).

Anxious Parents & University Students — Are Anxious Parents Part of the Problem?

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Mental health issues on camps are exploding. A good piece appeared today in the New York Times. It focuses on the anxiety of parents, as a newer development. The bottom line is that parents need to listen and to be supportive. Do not jump in. Mostly, student anxiety is situational. Students need a responsible adult to show them the way. This is good advice for new students, graduate students, law students and all students — and their parents. Universities, the economy and society are becoming more anxiety producing. Here is some basic advice and a few good quotes …………

 

  • Parents are allowing their anxiety to take over, and it’s not helping anyone, least of all their children …. Anxiety about anxiety has gotten so bad that some parents actually worry if their student isn’t anxious. This puts a lot of pressure on unanxious students — it creates anxiety about anxiety about anxiety.
  • As for your kids, I would like to help you with some age-appropriate remedies. If your child calls during the first weeks of college feeling anxious, consider saying any of the following: You’ll get through this; this is normal; we’ll laugh about this phone call at Thanksgiving. Or, say anything that was helpful to you the last time you started something new. Alternatively, you could say nothing. Just listening really helps.
  • I worry that the current obsession with mental health awareness is disempowering parents from helping their adult children handle ordinary things. People are increasingly fearful that any normal emotion is a sign of something serious.
  • But if you send your adult children to a mental health professional at the first sign of distress, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them. 
  • This is the beginning of their adult relationship with you. Show them the way.
  • The transition to college is full of excitement and its cousin, anxiety. I enjoy shepherding young people through this rite of passage. Parents should try enjoying it, too.

                “Anxious Parents Need Help.” New York Times (April 11, 2024)

ADHD AND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS — PRIMER FOR PARTNERS.

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This is a summary of an article that recently appeared on MSN (March 21, 2024). It’s really clear and concise about dealing with ADHD in a personal relationship.

You have a partner with ADHD and are excited to make plans. You enjoy spending time together and talking for hours. But, sometimes, things irk you in your relationship. You know your partner wants to see you, but you don’t understand why your partner is always running late.

Your partner cares, but you don’t understand why they forget your birthday. You know your partner wants to discuss things that bother you, but you don’t understand why you have so many communication problems with your ADHD partner.

Usually, partners with ADHD are described as friendly, very busy doing many things at one time, and sometimes appear moody. They may also communicate in ways that cause problems in their relationships without being aware they are doing so.

Four Characteristic:

  1. Hyper-focusing on their partner at the beginning of the relationship.

Partners with ADHD may hyper focus on their partners. At the beginning of your relationship, hyper-focusing keeps partners engaged and motivated to see each other. You might like your partner’s attention and the ability to make you feel special.

As the relationship progresses, since the partner with ADHD has difficulty regulating their attention and is drawn to novel and new experiences, their attention on the relationship might wane.

  1. High sensitivity to criticism.

Partners with ADHD are very sensitive to criticism for forgetting things, losing their keys, being late for appointments, and not picking up items at the store. They may blame their partner for many of the issues in the relationships, such as losing a job due to issues of procrastination, not following through or meeting deadlines, not carrying their weight in the relationship, or the relationship not being fair and balanced.

The partner with ADHD frequently holds a lot of shame around their mistakes and challenges in their life and relationship. This problem also leaves them feeling and viewing themselves as defective, less than, or not good enough.

  1. Forgetfulness, interruptions, and jumping topic-to-topic during conversations.

When partners with ADHD can’t remember what they were going to say, impulsively interrupt, jump from topic to topic, the other partner can feel frustrated and irritated by these behaviors.

A partner with ADHD may have a tendency to interrupt, impulsively answer, and not wait for their turn to respond. They may have difficulty following the thread of the conversation, especially in a crowded room or with distractions, such as cell phones.

  1. Distraction.

If you are trying to talk and a partner with ADHD keeps looking away or has difficulty following the conversation, sometimes the other partner will feel rejected, abandoned, or unloved by these behaviors.

Conclusion — ADHD does not have to negatively impact your relationship, but you will need to understand the challenges and issues to be able to address them. All couples have communication problems, but when you have a partner with ADHD, you need to learn more effective methods of solving your communication problems.

“Common Problems Dealing with ADHD in Relationships.” MSN (Online) (3.21.24)

What are the Difference Between Family Therapy, Family Counseling and Couples Counseling?

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     A good article recently appeared discussing the difference between ‘family therapy’ and ‘family counseling.’ Slight differences, it’s an interesting discussion. Here are some excerpts.

  • Family counseling is a discipline of therapy focused on finding solutions for the challenges and complexities that may arise in family life. Also called marriage and family therapy (MFT), clinicians work to improve communication among family members and adjust the dynamics between members of the family that may result in dysfunction. The terms “family counseling” and “family therapy” are often used synonymously, but it is important to note that family counseling, like other forms of counseling, may be defined by some clinicians as shorter in duration and more solutions-focused than family therapy.
  • Family counseling has evolved and developed over the decades and now incorporates practices and methods from several schools of thought.
  • Structural Family Therapy: This method examines the rules and power dynamics of the family. In structural family therapy, the therapist may be more involved than other types of treatment and help to reorganize the structures of the family to improve how people feel in the family and create a more cohesive unit.
  • Cognitive Behavioral :Couples Therapy: Applying the same principles as cognitive behavioral therapy, this modality encourages couples to identify and name the patterns of behavior causing them or their partner distress in the relationship, with the clinician teaching skills to help confront and change these patterns.
  • Couples and Marriage Counseling: This approach focuses on relationship problems. Therapists typically meet with both partners at the same time to identify the challenges they face and disagreements they may have and help the couple find better solutions for how to communicate, find mutually acceptable solutions, and work as a team.
  • A licensed marriage and family therapist (MFT or LMFT) is a mental health practitioner with a master’s or doctoral degree. MFTs typically train under a supervisor for two years, or 3,000 clinical hours, and must pass an exam to receive licensure.
  • When seeking a family counselor, it’s important to choose someone with whom you and your family members trust and feel comfortable talking about what can be difficult topics. Studies have shown that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist is one of the most important factors for a successful outcome.
  • Family therapy has expanded in popularity significantly in recent years. One study found that as many as 70 percent of psychotherapists now offer treatment to couples or families.
  • Whatever the makeup of the family unit, learning and practicing the skills of respectful communication, mutual understanding, and harmonious conflict resolution have made a difference in the lives of many families across the world.

                                       “Family Counseling.” (2023).

ANXIOUS? Anti-Anxiety Drugs Mask Your Fears — Facing Them Also Important.

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     A good article recently appeared discussing anti-anxiety drugs. This is especially important as anxiety among individuals and couples is escalating for numerous reasons. This article discusses the masking effect of these drugs and the great importance of confronting your fears. Here are some excerpts:

  • Many people don’t think twice about unwinding with a prescription benzodiazepine that can instantly bring physical calm, such as Klonopin, Ativan or Xanax. 
  • The problem is that when you start taking a benzo, the brain reduces its natural output of GABA, which means that tapering off the medication can result in even worse symptoms of anxiety, along with extremely unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.
  • When it comes to navigating anxiety, facing your fears rather than running away from them—or drugging them into submission—is essential to reclaiming your freedom. Having uncomfortable emotions and sensations is normal. Taking a sedative is about escaping those sensations and emotions, when what we actually need to learn is to accept them.
  • Another critical issue with these drugs is that people begin to rely on them as a coping strategy at the expense of other, healthier emotion regulation techniques.
 

“The Danger of Relying on Anti-Anxiety Drugs. (January 27, 2024).