COUNSELING FOR BETTER COMMUNICATIONS. Blog by Sandy Malawer, Director, Family Therapy Center in McLean, Virginia. www.Counseling-Connection.net 703.893.9065 / 703.346.7056 (cell). E-Mail … SandyMalawer@Counseling-Connection.net
The following is from a piece published last year —
As the name would suggest, couples therapy is intended for couples. But sometimes, only one partner is willing to go. “The resistant partner may fear being vulnerable, think that therapy won’t be helpful or be uncomfortable talking about their problems.” “Regardless of the reasons, I’d say it’s still helpful if the other partner comes in for support.”
My take. This is so true. Often one party may come initially but then over time the other would also joins in. this is often with good results for the couple’s relationship.
The online counseling field is growing 70 to 80 percent faster than projected since November 2016, when Trump was elected.
There are spikes in female, minority, Muslim, Jewish and LGBT customers, among others
The majority of patients are millennials, with an average age between 33 and 34.
Although in-person therapy is the standard practice phone counseling is a great alternative for busy professionals and others. This has greatly increased since last November. There are many reasons for this, such as convenience, individuals being more comfortable with online conversations, for those who cannot leave house or office, among others.
Political differences can easily strain family and couple relationships. Any differences between people can trigger desires to convince the other to ‘see it my way!’ Convincing, however, is less effective, and more likely to create relationship rifts, than simply sharing perspectives.Some people have more ability to allow others to be different. This ability takes patience. It takes willingness to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. This ability also rests on ability to keep your emotions in the calm zone. My best advice is to channel discussions into other directions. It’s more important to keep a good relationship than win an argument.
Good recent article on stress and relationships. Although partners in close social relationships often enable one another to manage stress, stress can also undermine the many benefits that these relationships provide. Couple-targeted and stress-targeted interventions both hold promise for empowering couples to sustain their relationship. Good counseling can help reach good results.
A good piece in a recent issue of the Financial Times (FT Wealth) discusses different political views on dating and relationships during the Trump era. Here are some quotes:
The politics itself is not to blame, but for some couples it has highlighted a lack of shared values and this has in turn placed tension on their relationship.
Politics is one of the most important criteria used on dating site profiles and in the algorithms such services use.
They’re looking to find reasons to not go on a date with people and politics is a biggie these days, bigger than before the Trump election for sure.
Opposites do not attract — it’s the commonalities of thinking, values, outlook and intellectual curiosity that make relationships sustainable long term.
They relate to the broader value system of the individual, which is a crucial area in the matchmaking process.
From my recent experience in counseling sessions politics has come to the forefront. It’s not clear how political differences will play out during this new political era. But good communications about differences are always important.
Really good point in this new New York Times article — anxiety is not only a psychological disorder but now a sociological one.
Anxiety can be viewed on various levels — on the individual level, the national level and the international one. Individual therapy needs to address these different levels of anxiety.
Here’s a good quote from the New York Times piece ………….
“While to epidemiologists both disorders are medical conditions, anxiety is starting to seem like a sociological condition, too: a shared cultural experience that feeds on alarmist CNN graphics and metastasizes through social media.”
Good comments in a recent article published earlier this year about sex and stress and what to do about it ……………
Stress can also impact your sex life. The hormones produced when an individual is stressed can impact metabolism, which can in turn lead to weight fluctuations, When you experience changes in your body, or don’t feel good about your body, you might be less likely to want to engage in sexual activity.
Chronic stress may lead to depression and anxiety, and both conditions can get in the way of a healthy sex life. Some people who feel stressed complain that they aren’t in the mood to have sex at all.
Luckily, you can do something about this issue. Having a healthy outlet for your stress, like exercise, getting a massage, and even taking a bath can help, Make time for self-care. And, while some stress is normal, if you can pinpoint big stressors in your life, it’s a good idea to do what you can to minimize them or eliminate them altogether, if possible.
What can you do about stress? The above observations seem very basic. But too many individuals just ignore them. The simple answer is ‘Reduce stress and you will have many benefits.’ My suggestion ‘Just start’ to reduce and manage stress as much as possible. That’s the hardest part.
Good piece in the New York Times this Sunday that relationships change within marriage. People change. Sometimes both, sometimes only one. That to stay married both parties need to embrace the changed situations. I would add that sometimes individuals really don’t change that much and good marriages involves those relationships also.
This is a good article on family intervention when issues arise concerning well being of a family member that may involve depression, addiction, health or a host of other concerns. This article favors a ‘softer’ approach rather than a more aggressive intervention. I strongly support that view. Mental health professionals can be of great assistance in this process.
The newer dating app Bumble has a different twist. It allows women control of dating choices. Interestingly, once women actually go out on a date many often fallback on traditional dating norms. For example, expectations that the man pays for dinners. For women to have true control they need to take a more active and equitable role.