Category Archives: Communications

Mental Health Services & Universities ….. Great Demand …. Need More Support.

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Depression

     Mental health services offered by universities are experiencing a growing demand. This demand  involves both college-related issues but also the whole spectrum of mental health issues. Both men and women are demanding more services. There is some evidence that men are a bit hesitant requesting those services. But that is changing.

     Services are being requested at all levels from the new student to the military veteran and at both the undergraduate and graduate levels. More support is needed at most universities especially the public universities.

 

“College Mental Health Services are in Demand.” Wall Street Journal (Sept. 22, 2015)

How An Affair is Discovered Predicts If Couples Reconcile …. The Probabilities Differ.

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Affairs

A recent article (based upon earlier studies) describes what the probability is for reconciling a couple’s relationship after an affair. It determines the probabilities differ according to how the affair is discovered. This is very interesting. Is it revealed by a third party? By an admission? By catching them actually together? Not surprising the lowest probability is if the affair is discovered by them actually being together.

 “The Post-Affair Conversation.” Wall Street Journal (Sept. 9, 2015)

Mental Health Counseling in Colleges — Growth Area.

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                             Student (Stressed)

     This is a good article discussing a 10-point checklist of items new students need to understand, in part, concerning health services provided by their universities. 

     One important observation that I would make is the ever-increasing importance of mental health counseling. 

     Universities are now trying to respond to the growing demand for accepting responsibility of the mental well-being of their students. Many universities have made good progress especially in focusing on issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, sexuality, and relationships.

     The availability of mental health counseling is crucial for all students to know about. These issues are in addition to the host of traditional academic ones that universities have traditionally attempted to address.

     Students really need to acquaint themselves with the mental health services and counseling provided by the university. But they need also to know the broad range of facilities that are made available by local authorities, such as counties, towns and religious organizations. This is in addition to the wealth of services available by private practitioners.

Income Inequality & Marital Infidelity. Any Relationship?

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Couple (Bored woman)

A recent study finds when there is income inequality between spouses there is more cheating. My reaction is how is this? Hasn’t there always been such inequality in marriages until recently? Has recent data proved things have gotten worse or are they really any different? Don’t really think so. But we need better studies. My take is that lack of communications between spouses has always been the real key in explaining marital infidelity. Not income inequality even though such inequality is a trendy topic today. 

 

“If Spouses Earnings are Vastly Different, Cheating is more likely.” Washington Post (June 5, 2015).

Disclosing Prior Relationships & Intimacy.

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Couple (Sexy)

Interesting piece on a new study concerning disclosing prior relationships and intimacy to your new partner. The conclusion is that men and women have surprisingly similar attitudes toward discussing their prior partners and activities, with a notable exception.

“What’s Your Number? (We’re Not Talking About Phones.” Wall Street Journal (May 5, 2015).

Couples & Money — Rules for Discussing to Avoid Fights.

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                             Couples and Money

 

    Money is one of the biggest sources of marital discord. Often these fights reflect underlying anxieties. These often derive from different backgrounds and upbringings. This article gives ten rules concerning conversation between couples. They include among others:

  • What is your greatest financial fear?
  • What were your family’s values about money?
  • Was your family rich or poor?

     To me the greatest rule concerning discussion about money is to have such a discussion(s) and to listen respectfully.

“Biggest Fights Couples Have About Money & How to Resolve Them.” Wall Street Journal (April 13, 2015).

Different Class and Couples ….. Is this Cross-Cultural?

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Couple (Rich)

This is an interesting article discussing marrying outside of your class. Sounds a bit dated. But this is a particular form of a cross-cultural marriage. The spouses come from different cultures. Don’t really think this is a major marital problem. Happens often. Certainly good communication between those involved makes this work in the vast amount of cases.

“Marrying Outside of Your Class.” Washington Post (March 29, 2015).

Couples Arguing — Different Version of Events …. How to Move on.

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    Couple arguing (bed)

      Recent article discusses why couples have different versions of events and how they lead to arguments and what to do to overcome differing perceptions. Needless to say better communication could avoid this but certainly can overcome it. Several good rules.

  • Assume good intent. Most likely, your partner is not lying when his or her story differs from yours. Your memories of the event are simply different.
  • Accept that there is not one version of events. Both stories may have some validity.
  • Do not argue based on memories. Let go of ‘you did this,’ ‘no I didn’t.’
  • Focus on the truth of how the event made you feel, not your memory of what happened.
  • Practice collaborative memory. Recall joyful events—the birth of a child, a favorite vacation, the day you got the keys to your home.

“Honey, You Never Said …” Wall Street Journal (March 24, 2015).

Avoiding a Narcissistic Child — What is the Parent’s Role?

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Narcassitic child 2

 

 

Good article about what couples should do in their parenting to avoid a “me-centered child” growing into “another narcissist.” Better communication all around helps. But some dispute over the parent’s role but a very thoughtful piece.

 

“Are you Giving the World Another Narcissist?” Washington Post (March 19, 2015).

Foreign Postings, Foreign Affairs and Divorces — Not Necessarily Any More.

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Affairs

     The conventional wisdom is that a foreign posting for a corporate executive or professional can exacerbate marital problems and add new tensions. Some destinations particularly Asia and the Middle East have been traditionally viewed as notorious for ending in divorce. That’s because many foreign women think all American men are rich. This view also acknowledges that there are unique and tricky child-custody issues that often fall within the 1980 Hague Convention. That’s true.

 

     However, much has changed in the last few years to challenge this conventional wisdom. Essentially with 21st century Internet and telecommunications spouses and children are still connected with friends and relatives back home. Often the spouse also works in the same company or a local job.

 

      But after saying that the important fact to mitigate a higher divorce rate of couples living abroad is to openly communicate and be involved in each other’s lives. Foreign experiences should not necessarily end in marital discord. It should be a time of wonderful living and learning.

 

Bruno, “A Foreign Posting and Divorce.” Washington Post (March 19, 2015).