Category Archives: Communications

New Technology and Mental Health Treatment — Some Early Promise.

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“There is an emerging frontier of mental health treatments using new technologies that are offering promising early results and possibilities. Motivated in part by the limitations of existing treatments — mostly involving drugs or talk therapy with a psychologist — many researchers are looking to develop digital tools to treat mental health …. Technology treatment may be in its infancy and will need to undergo rigorous and much bigger testing. But it illustrates how the next generation of therapies has the potential to be far more accessible and straight forward than before — with implications for the many people seeking help for mental health. You don’t need medication for that, you don’t need a psychologist to talk about your life  …. It’s so simple — just sitting in front of a computer.” ”Tech-Powered Treatments.” Financial Times (December 18, 2024).




Global Mental Health Pandemic — Young People, Couples & Social Media.

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“A mental health pandemic is engulfing the world’s workplaces ….  The scale of the problem is hugely worrying, particularly among young people ….  Factors driving the global mental health crisis range from the cost of living to the pervasive use of social media …. However, after huge progress on improving mental health at work, some campaigners are warning of worrying signs of a reversal — partly as a result of a backlash against “woke” attitudes and a belief that such concerns even fuel mental health disorders. There’s more unhelpful rhetoric going around, with people using terms like ‘snowflake’ and beginning to point towards mental health as being a cause of inactivity in the economy This is leading to an increase in stigma which will prevent people speaking up about it. This is a challenge for us.” “Global Mental Health Crisis Among Young and in the Workplace.” Financial Times (Dec. 17, 2024).

Emotional Affairs — Not a Great Idea. But Can Tell You a Lot About Your Marriage.

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     A good piece appeared today discussing emotional affairs and how prevalent they are in our online age. The bottom line — It’s not necessarily sexual but it’s infidelity. An emotional connection outside your marriage tells you a lot about your marriage.

 

“Are you texting and emailing with a friend, or is it a kind of an affair? It can be a slippery slope. You likely have close confidants. But when you find yourself sharing more with someone than you do with your partner, developing romantic feelings for that person, and keeping this intimacy a secret, you may be having an emotional affair. Anyone could be susceptible to an emotional affair, especially in our online age. Social media has both expanded our opportunities for connection and made it easier to hide them from others. An emotional affair doesn’t necessarily mean sexual attraction. A friendship can slide into emotional infidelity when you keep it a secret from your spouse and prioritize the relationship over your marriage. An emotional connection outside of your marriage can tell you about what’s missing in your relationship.”  “Emotional Affairs.” Wall Street Journal (Oct. 23, 2024).

Renewing Intimacy after Infidelity — Yes, It’s Possible!

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     Renewing intimacy after infidelity is possible. It takes hard work but many couples have achieved this — Renewing intimacy (both emotional and physical) and a loving relationship occurs more often than many people think. The following is an excerpt from a very thoughtful article that appeared recently.

 

 

“Infidelity can be a devastating experience for both partners, leaving deep emotional wounds that need to heal. It’s hard work to rebuild trust and intimacy after the betrayal of infidelity, but when both partners are willing to do the work, it’s worth it. It is possible to move forward, find healing, and even rekindle the passion and connection you long for …. When you’re healing from broken trust, it can feel all-consuming. It is helpful to plan some weekly outings where talking about the infidelity and healing was off the table. To start having fun together again. All work and no fun stalls out the healing process.  A lot of work and some fun mixed in is key to working through the past and creating a new present and future together …. Put a regular date night on the calendar and then commit to not discussing “issues” on those dates …. As you grow emotional intimacy outside the bedroom, you begin healing inside the bedroom. There may be tears the first few times of physical intimacy. If that happens, slow things down and hold the hurting partner …. Infidelity can be a devastating experience, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship. With hard work and dedication, it is possible to move forward and find incredible intimacy and connection in your marriage.” “Renewing Intimacy after Infidelity.” (March 2023).

 

Parent-Child Estrangement — Heartbreak.

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A good article appeared recently discussing the heartbreak of parent-child estrangement. The bottom line is that this is a very difficult problem. However, a number of positive strategies are available to try to change the situation. Here’s an excerpt from this recent article ….

“While sometimes parents initiate estrangements, studies show that it’s more often their offspring who terminate the relationship. For the parent, there is no upside to an estrangement: It’s all shame, loss, regret and fear. However, estrangement from the adult child’s perspective offers an opportunity to demonstrate greater authority and autonomy in the relationship with the parent, set limits on hurtful behavior, express aspects of their individuality such as gender identity or sexuality, or enforce stronger boundaries …. Children can change dramatically over the course of their lives, but so can a parent. There will inevitably be aspects that the other finds challenging or difficult. In family, our task is to ensure that love and support remain the guiding principles; to find ways to communicate that foster closeness and reduce hurt; and to hope for patience — theirs and ours —­ as we navigate these new and uncharted territories of parent-adult child relationships.” “Parent-Child Estrangement.” Washington Post (August 20, 2024).

Social Anxiety & Successful Strategies to Overcome It.

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Social anxiety at times can be viewed as a disorder. However, there are, in fact, some simple strategies to overcome this. They have often proven to be very effective. The following is from a recent article in the Washington Post …………

 

“Social anxiety disorder involves substantial anxiety in social or performance situations and is accompanied by a strong fear of being rejected as well as appearing or acting in a way that leads to embarrassment and humiliation. When social anxiety significantly interferes with an individual’s work, establishing or maintaining relationships, leisure or other functioning (for example, using public transportation, traveling, playing sports), we diagnose it as a disorder …. Social anxiety also has been linked to setting unrealistic social goals and having perfectionistic standards for interactions — each social encounter serving as additional “proof” of one’s inadequacy. Furthermore, socially anxious individuals overestimate any negative consequences of social encounters, often ruminating and obsessing over what they shouldn’t or should have said or done for hours or even days. When you feel so bad about yourself, you are more likely to construct your life around preventing further rejection, thus perpetuating social anxiety …. To increase positive emotions and a sense of meaning in life, people with social anxiety could practice mindful meditation and learn to avoid labeling feelings as negative or positive, opening themselves up to all internal experiences …. Other helpful strategies include reducing alcohol or similar substances used to numb emotions; tracking and sharing what they are grateful for; and clarifying what matters the most to them.” “Social Anxiety and Strategies How to Overcome Them.” Washington Post (July 30, 2024).

 

Why More Intimacy During the Summer and Some Strategies.

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A fun piece appeared recently in the Wall Street Journal discussing why people feel sexier during the summer. It discusses why there is more interest in intimacy and some successful strategies to ensure happiness. Here’s an excerpt:

 

“Ever feel as if sex is everywhere in the summer? We’re wearing skimpier clothes, drinking stronger cocktails, getting some sun and delighting in a seductive breeze on our shoulders. And everywhere we look there seems to be an advertisement featuring beers, beaches and bikinis …. No wonder there’s a spike in interest in sexual activity in the summer, seen in everything from condom sales to online searches related to pornography and dating, research shows …. People reported having sex an average 5.6 times a month, or just more than once a week, according to a soon-to-be-published, nationally representative study of 1,500 Americans ages 18 to 88 from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Yet there is a great deal of variation among individuals: About a third of people surveyed said they don’t have sex in a typical month; 30% said they have sex between one and four times; and 29% said they have sex between five and 16 times. The final 8% reported having sex more than 17 times a month …. Doom scrolling isn’t sexy, especially these days. It keeps your nervous system in a constant state of fight or flight …. Find something sensual to watch or listen to instead, such as your favorite turn-me-on music, a podcast about sex or an erotic audiobook. You can do this regularly throughout the day, while you’re taking a walk or making dinner. “You’re priming yourself to feel sexy” …. And, for heaven’s sake, put away your phone when you’re in the bedroom. Give your partner your full attention …. When you feel good, you’re more likely to get in the mood. Dress up, as you would for a date. Bare a little skin. The feel of a summer breeze on your shoulder can be an erotic trigger …. Research shows that novelty activates the brain’s reward system, flooding it with neurochemicals related to pleasure and bonding. And our enthusiasm about the activity often transfers to the person we’re doing it with. Strong emotions can amplify sexual arousal …. It makes you feel good. And it helps our bodies produce vitamin D, which might help sexual relations. Low vitamin D may cause lower testosterone levels in men and lower sexual desire and satisfaction in women.” “Summer Lovin Feeling.” Wall Street Journal (July 30, 2024)

Couples Therapy — Choosing a Therapist.

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A good piece appeared recently on how to choose a therapist for couples seeking assistance concerning a broad range of issues such as intimacy, infidelity, divorce, family issues and general relationship concerns. Here is an excerpt discussing licensing of therapists, fees and insurance, among other items …………..

 

“Most couples therapy is conducted conjointly—that is, with both partners present in sessions. Seeing or contacting one member of the couple separately is occasionally warranted but almost invariably done to gain information important to the relationship and with the permission of the other. Sometimes an individual seeks couples counseling as a way to prompt a change in a troubled relationship, most commonly because their partner is unwilling to participate in therapy …. Specific variations of couples therapy have been developed to focus on such relationship problems as infidelity and sexual difficulties …. Couples’ therapists are licensed mental health professionals—holding a master’s in counseling, social work, or marriage and family therapy. They are not only well-trained in an array of psychotherapeutic modalities but have specific academic education in relationship science and family systems and supervised clinical training in interpersonal dynamics. Some therapists seek training and certification by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) …. Couples therapy, like individual therapy, can cost between $150 and $400 per one-hour session, usually conducted weekly by a private practitioner …. Unfortunately, couples therapy is not usually covered by insurance because it is rarely deemed medically necessary. There are, however, ways to get quality therapy at affordable rates …. Couples’ therapists, whatever their fee structure, are quick to state that couples therapy is almost always worth the cost. It is, they point out, much cheaper than a divorce.” “Couples Therapy.” Psychology Today (2023).

HOW TO KEEP ROMANCE GROWING OVER THE YEARS? TRY NEW EXPERIENCES!

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How to keep romance and love alive as couples grow over the years? A good article recently appeared. Its suggestion is to try new things. Here are a few excerpts …..

 

  • Is there a secret to contented monogamy? We need to make sure that our relationships are still encouraging us to learn, grow and become better versions of ourselves. Essentially, our strongest bonds broaden our sense of what is possible—a phenomenon psychologists call “self-expansion.”

 

  • We may blame our romantic lethargy on our partner’s flaws, but the real problem is usually that we miss that exhilarating sense of novelty. We’re not just tired of our partners, we’re tired of ourselves in the partnership, particularly when so much of our time is spent haggling over chores and other obligations.

 

  • Self-expansion isn’t simply a luxury of youthful courtship but an essential feature of any satisfying long-term relationship.

 

  • It isn’t enough to simply make time for each other. We need to think about how we are spending this time. Drinks and dinner are perfect activities when you are getting to know someone, but they may not properly nourish a more established relationship …. Couples are more likely to discover something new if they experience something unfamiliar together.

 

  • Relationships that offer opportunities for personal growth can also improve our health by buffering the effects of stress …. Couples who saw their partners as sources of insight, excitement and new experiences had more desire for sex with each other. Simply sharing new experiences and activities increased physical desire in long-term partnerships.

 

  • We are better off when we embrace the idea that romantic love is a dynamic process that evolves as we grow …. To keep things fresh, why not try something different?

“How Couples Keep Romance Going.” Wall Street Journal (May 12, 2024).

LONELINESS & STRATEGIES TO AOID IT — NEW FRIENDS.

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     It is well known that chronic loneliness has become a public health crisis in the United States. A recent article in the New York Times offers some strategies to combat this. One suggestion for individuals is to make new friends — especially ones with similar interests. Another one, my opinion, to develop an even closer relationship if you’re a couple. Here are a few excerpts from this recent article ……….

 

 

  • Everyone feels lonely from time to time — after, say, a move to a new school or city, when a child leaves for college, or following the loss of a spouse.
  • Some people, though, experience loneliness not just transiently but chronically. It becomes a personality trait, something that’s pretty sticky.
  • Research is mounting that entrenched loneliness is bad for our health …. chronic loneliness affects the brain, and some strategies to address it.
  • Small, transient episodes of loneliness really motivate people to then seek out social connection.  But in chronic episodes of loneliness, that seems to kind of backfire because people become especially attuned to social threats, which can then make it scary or unpleasant for them to interact with others.
  • For years, scientists have known about a connection between loneliness and Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia.
  • The more general way in which loneliness affects mental and physical health may also factor into cognitive decline. The feeling is closely linked to depression, another condition that increases the risk for dementia. And people who are lonely are less likely to be physically active and more likely to smoke cigarettes.
  • One of the most common recommendations is a little obvious: Try to make new friends (and it’s easiest with persons of shared identities). Whether that’s through art classes, sports teams, support groups or volunteer opportunities, the goal is to put yourself in places where people come together.
  • The strategies may sound simple, but they’re easier said than done. Otherwise, I don’t think we would have the report from the Surgeon General saying we need to figure this out.           

            “Loneliness Shapes Our Behaviors.” New York Times (May 10, 2024).